"2011"

2011 is a year when:

I finish my draft, finally. After years.

I can drive my car alone. After years (again), finally

I lost my weight. I hope it last longer than usual

I take my holidays, after three years.

I meet someone and fall in love hard

I say hello and goodbyes

I loss my old friends but find the new ones

I try to figure out what I want in life, relationship, career and myself

I make a decision that’s going to change my whole future

I change and grow up

I break hearts and get my heart broken over and over again, and try to love like I’ve never been hurt before

I improve my relationship with God and family

I go through an emotional turmoil

It’s time for us to say goodbye to 2011 – A year of change, both good and bad.

Bittersweet moments and days - they will forever be memories

Don't come!!

Don’t come to me.
Don’t say a hello to me.
Don’t try to figure me out.
Don’t try to give any of your hope to me, even just a piece of.

I’m not ready yet. I haven’t ready yet.
Don’t come!

Merry Christmas!

With a cup of coffee and the hard rain outside, i just wanna say this to all of you:

I am dreaming of white Christmas ,
With every Christmas card i write,
May your days be merry and bright,
And May all your Christmases be white.
Merry Christmas!

May this Christmas bring Peace and Joy for All.
Happy Christmas

words

Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness.
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.

16 Desember 2011

16 Desember 2011.

Dimana kita seharusnya berada?

Ahh… merayakan kebersamaan yang kedelapan, iya?

Tapi ada dimana kita sekarang?

Saya ada di deretan langkah masa depan saya, menjalani hari – hari saya tanpa ada kamu sama sekali, dan terus mencoba untuk tidak kembali melihat kamu ataupun mencari tahu kamu ada dimana dan bagaimana.

Saya ada di deretan hari saya yang sudah semakin ringan melepaskan semua keingintahuan dan rasa penasaran saya.

Saya ada di dentang waktu yang sudah terbiasa dengan semua rasa sakit yang pernah melintas, walau belum sepenuhnya kebas.

Saya yang masih terkadang kembali melihat sisi kotak kenangan kita yang sudah semakin pudar di ingatan, saya ada di malam – malam yang terkadang masih memimpikan kamu.

Saya yang masih memiliki hati untuk kamu, dan saya membiarkannya. Saya membiarkan hati saya masih menyimpan rasa itu dan membiarkannya berdiri sendiri mengobati lukanya.

Saya yang tidak bisa dengan ikhlas mendoakan kamu bahagia, tidak ada satu pikiran pun yang terlintas yang bisa dengan lantang saya ucapkan kalau saya akan mendoakan kamu bahagia.

Tapi saya ada disini dan bisa bilang, saya sudah memaafkan semuanya, dan saya sudah ikhlas memaafkan.

Saya tidak akan peduli dengan kebahagiaan kamu, saya tidak akan mendoakan kamu dan dia bisa bahagia, saya hanya ingin kamu berhenti bermain – main. Saya hanya bisa mendoakan kamu bisa berhenti bermain – main dan belajar tanggung jawab dengan semua pilihan kamu.

Dan kamu, ada dimana kamu sekarang?

I love you

I love this place.
It becomes the special place that makes me always come back in any of mood that I have.
this is my escape, my diary, my journal, my rubbish bin, or anything i can tell.
And when i always come back to this place, seeing all the posts that I've written, it really surprise me.

I change. People around me change.
Time flies, sometimes too fast until I can't remember it well.
Memories run on my mind. Dreams come and go just like a wind.
People come and go in my life, some of still be here with me, some of go after their short coming, some of just coming to say hi.

Read all the posts since almost four years ago, i change a lot.
You can see who the one that i really love, You can see who the one that broke my heart deeply, You can see who the one that i still love even after years, You can know who was my first love, You can know who was my first boyfriend, You can know who was my first broken heart.

Read all the posts in this place, i grown up.
how and what i write right now is totally different with how and what i wrote four years ago.

I got new friends from this place. I lost some old friends, and this place is the first one who know it.
I fell in love, i cried, i feel depression, i was mad. and this is the first place that i visit.

Thank you for the people who read all 'rubbish' in my mind and heart.
Thank you for people who always come back to this place.
Thank you for the people who has left your foot print here.
Thank you for the people that i know because of this place.
Thank you for the people who can love this place too.
Thank you for the people who has give me the encouragement.

I love you my escaping, I love you. Please stay be with me, always.

where are we?

Where are we?
Ahh… we are in the middle of December, eleven days to Christmas and seventeen days to the New Year.

What have you prepared?
Which one do you like, Christmas or New Year?

I love Christmas. I love the cookies smell, I love the euphoria, I love the children choir voice, I love the Christmas tree, I love the songs, and it totally means the holiday, right?

What about the New Year? Have you ready to face it? Have you had the resolutions?

What if I ask you now with the question?
What have you done in 2011?
What have you got in 2011?
What have you lost in 2011?
How’s your 2011, is it a happy year, a struggle year, a saddest year, or one of the most loved and blessed year?

Well, are you ready for your New Year?
I’m ready for my New Year and can’t wait for the Christmas.

Pack your Santa Claus dress for Christmas, spread the cookies and smile for the day.
Let’s count the 2011’s blessed and prepare the resolutions for 2012.

The Kitchen Musical

The Kitchen Musical is a Singaporean musical drama television series developed for ntv7. The series premiered on October 2011 in 19 countries across Asia and Europe. The show features a pool of actors, both veteran and new faces from around the region. The 13 one-hour episodes centers around good food and wine, with each episode featuring re-arranged and re-recorded popular hits accompanied by dancing. Every episode features a different menu.

Set in the musical world of a famous restaurant and anchored around the storyline of a rich young girl's journey of self-discovery when she starts working in the kitchen of the restaurant, straight out of Le Cordon Bleu, Paris. She goes to work at her father's restaurant, The Avilon, and learns that she cannot always get her way by being Daddy's girl.

Main characters
• Karylle as Maddie Avilon, a fresh graduate of Le Cordon Bleu. She lands a job as the sous chef in her father's restaurant. She struggles to show her individuality and creativity in the hands of the head chef.
• Stephen Rahman Hughes as Alex Marcus, the executive chef of The Avilon, known for his notoriety for perfection.
• Christian Bautista as Daniel Ray, a supportive childhood friend of Maddie and the other sous chef of the restaurant.
• Arthur Acuña as Harry Shaw, the general manager of The Avilon. He keeps secrets from Maddie on her father's motives for letting her work in the restaurant.
• Rosemary Vandenbroucke as Selena Argon, the sommelier of The Avilon who will do everything to get what she wants. She has a deep desire to get rid of Maddie and win Alex's heart.

Recurring characters
• Ikey Canoy as Winston - Pastry Chef
• Thou Reyes as Thou - Line Cook
• Juan Jackson as Juan - Line Cook
• Carla Dunareanu as Carla - Line Cook
• Erwin Shah Ismail as Rico - Dishwasher
• Juwanda Hassim as Nelson - Bartender
• Nadiah M. Din as Britney - Receptionist
• Oon Shu An as Paula - Receptionist
• Gayle Nerva as Gayle - Waitress
• Rebecca Spykerman as Bec - Waitress
• Debra Teng as Leslie - Head Waitress

See the website on The Kitchen Musical and the review Here or Here

decision

I don’t know what will happen to me on the next 10 days.
I’ve chosen to quit from this place, there are a lot of emotions on that decision.
And until this time I don’t have any regret at all, I hope it last until the last.

One day I will miss these hectic days, maybe.
One day I will miss these spare times, maybe.
One day I will miss some of people here, maybe.
One day I will miss this place, maybe.

But I have to choose, and I did it.
I have to choose between my future, my ego, my dreams, and my sanity.
Maybe it’s not the great decision that I ever had.
Maybe it’s not the best way for me to out from all this boredom.

I wish what I’ve done before, I wish that all efforts that I did aren’t being useless.

One day

One Day...

Twenty years. Two people.

'One Day' is an adaptation of the best-selling novel by David Nicholls, “One Day” charts an extraordinary relationship.

Emma (Academy Award nominee Anne Hathaway) and Dexter (Jim Sturgess) meet on the night of their college graduation – July 15th, 1988.

She is a working-class girl of principle and ambition who dreams of making the world a better place. He is a wealthy charmer who dreams that the world will be his playground. Dexter is a playboy, plain and simple. Handsome, successful, high-profile - a complete chick magnet and a total womanizer.

For the next two decades, every July 15th reveals to us how “Em” and “Dex” are faring, as their friendship ebbs and flows with the passing of the years. Through love and loss, heartbreak and success, hopes fulfilled and dreams shattered, they experience the grandeur of life. Somewhere along their journey, these two people realize that what they are searching and hoping for has been there for them all along.

It follows the lives of Emma and Dex for 20 years, offering a snapshot of one day each year. Sometimes they're together as friends, sometimes they're not.

'One Day' offers a snapshot of, you guessed it, one day in the lives of friends Emma and Dex - over a period of two decades. Some days are far more memorable than others, and the one Emma is referring to is definitely worth remembering...

When things go horribly wrong for Dexter, he automatically reaches out to Emma - even if they haven't talked for months. He may have a lot of casual flings (and one disastrous marriage), but he goes to the person that matters most when he needs real help (see: Emma).

 Dexter: "If I could give you just one gift, do you know what it would be? Confidence. That or a scented candle."

Emma: "I love you, Dexter. I just don't like you anymore."

a little more time

Kemarin seseorang menanyakan tentang kamu denganku. Dan juga seorang yang lain. Mereka menanyakan kabar kamu.

Aku hanya menjawab tidak tahu. Karena aku memang tidak tahu kamu ada dimana sekarang dan bagaimana keadaan kamu.

Aku pikir aku sudah sanggup ketika tahu dan mendengar kabar kamu.

Tapi ternyata mendengar seseorang menyebutkan namamu pun masih sanggup membuat kepingan hati aku berdenyut, merasakan sakitnya sendiri.

Seven months and I still stuck here. I don’t know what happen with me. It’s weird.

Kamu yang menghilang dan tidak pernah menemui aku sejak kali terakhir kita bersama. Kamu yang mendadak berubah sejak malam kamu terakhir memeluk aku.

Kamu yang berhenti berkata denganku sejak terakhir kali kamu membisikkan kangen dan sayang kamu.

Ahh…sudahlah.

Aku pikir aku sudah menerima semuanya, tapi mungkin aku masih membutuhkan waktu yang lebih lama untuk membuat perasaan aku menjadi benar – benar netral ketika mendengar seseorang menyebutkan nama kamu.

Commitment

Love isn’t enough to build a relationship. We need more than that.

We love each other, I do love him, but our commitment is weak, and our loneliness is bigger than we think.

Kamu yang berhenti disana dan tidak pernah kembali.

Aku yang duduk terdiam, masih di persimpangan kita.

Kamu yang sayang sama aku, seperti kata kamu. Tapi kamu juga masih berdiri di sisi masa lalu kamu.

Tidak bisakah kita memberi “kita” kesempatan lagi?

Aku berat meninggalkan semuanya, aku berat kehilangan kamu.

Tapi jika keputusan kamu seperti ini, aku mengikutinya.

Dan jika suatu hari, kita kembali bertemu di persimpangan jalan lain, jangan membuang mukamu, kita masih bisa bertegur sapa.

Apa yang kita mulai, semuanya dimulai dengan baik.

Dan aku tidak membencimu, bahkan sampai saat terakhir kamu memilih dia, aku tidak membencimu.

Untuk terakhir kali ketika aku masih punya sedikit hak untuk bilang, aku sayang kamu.

Masih, sampai detik ini masih.

Bisakah kamu datang dan peluk aku terakhir kalinya…??

Ahh…sudahlah, aku tidak ingin membuat kamu menjadi berat, berjalanlah, jangan menengok lagi kalau memang kamu sudah yakin memutuskan.

Terima kasih sayang, aku sayang kamu.

#Repost from here 

Tuesday, May 10th, 2011. 09:23 AM

a couple hours before...

I know, everything has been ruined now.

Some of my heart has been being numb, but, in the other hand, I still think about him and our second chance.

I don’t want to lose him, I don’t want our togetherness is just for some of weeks. I want more than that.

But, I have known that he couldn’t lose his past, he couldn’t forget about that girl, that beautiful girl who has been lived in his life for more than two years. In the long distance relationship, it wasn’t a short time to run.

It’s a couple hours before we meet, a couple hour before he say what he want to say to me just like his message to me this noon.

And I’ve been had a little heart attack since that message come to my phone.

If he decides to go, then go. With no pushing from me, I’ll let you go.

If he decides to stay, then stay, no more her. Just you and I. 

#Repost from here 

Saturday, May 07th, 2011. 04:13 PM

the answer

 

I don’t want to be a choice when you have no choice; I just want to be your only one choice.

Hari ini, aku dan kamu, akan jadi hari penghabisan.

Jawaban kamu hari ini adalah jawaban yang akan membuat kita akan tetap jadi kita, atau akan kembali menjadi masing-masing, aku dan kamu.

Aku dan kamu, tidak akan ada dia diantaranya, dan kamu dan dia, tidak akan ada aku juga diantaranya.

Apa yang kamu lakukan hari ini, apapun keputusanmu sebelum dan sesudahnya, akan jadi penentu, apapun yang kamu katakan hari ini, menjadi penunjuk jalan untuk aku.

Dan dengan kesiapan ataupun tidak siap, aku menunggu jawaban kamu, sampai malam ini. Dan meski kamu tidak memberi jawaban pun, aku sudah punya jawaban sendiri untuk kamu.